It Was Only a Piss Essay

Sunny day on the coastal beach of La Jolla, Lem and Vanity two dumbasses who had hit the jackpot, their current occupation, working to keep people safe.

Their Top secret mission was to keep the corporation safe from crime including theft and malicious activity. To them, they were Seals, to their boss… well… the Mecca was a metaphor.

Too be utterly frank, Lem and Vanity were just two Security Guards working at the Sex Toy Shop… (Childhood dream Mecca)

Well working wouldn’t be the proper term, employed they were… work, work they did not.

They’ve been enjoying ranking on each other as patrons in the car park proceeded to walk in and out of the the walkway.

Lem handed over a lit blunt to Vanity and asked her to hold it so he could finishing peeing on the walkway

“Hey, Vanity…” he shouted “…grab me a bottle to piss in, I think breaks over and I need to dry off.”

His southern stutter was slightly prominent. Anytime he talked Vanity would simply either laugh or walk away, in this case she hit the blunt and proceeded to respond

“Lem…you motherfucker, how many times have we spoken about putting a filter on these rolls?” She takes another hit…”and listen, i don’t care where you’ve been or who you’ve been with but for now, you want the blunt?”

Lem decided to finish zipping his pants before doing a ritualistic post piss shake.

Hands in the air shaking like a man high in life, he grabs the blunt and take a deep hit.

“Van…Vannnn…VanaBanana…Vanityy this shit is so bomb, you would happen to have the time” he said back her while hitting the blunt with one hand and playing with tinder on the other.

Vanity shouted back at Lem “Ass hat, come on we are going to get fired, we’re an hr and 15 minutes late!”

Just then Lem went ahead and put the cherry out in the fresh stream of piss.

They grabbed their badge and their scooter and proceeded to head back to the store.