Barney the Cat Essay

Another day of eating, another day of sleeping. Eat, sleep, play, repeat, that was what Barney the cat managed to do every day he lived in his home. It made him happy, and that was all that really mattered. On this day he was alone in his home, and he was resting in his nice comfy bed that was purchased at the store on sale. It wasn’t a regular fluffy bed that you would see located in the cat food aisle with a tag sticking out of it; a tag that showed a picture of a small innocent kitten resting inside of this fluffy bed, no, it was from a case of water that was on sale in the grocery section of the store. It was the cardboard box that the water would sit in wrapped in plastic until a would-be buyer would pick it up and purchase it. The box was too small to be used for anything, but just the right size for a growing cat that needed to rest after a long day of eating. There were some blankets folded up and placed inside of this box which made it the perfect resting spot for Barney. Next to the box was a heater vent that would shoot out warm air when the outside world was getting too cold. He could spend his entire life in this box, and on some days he actually did.

His owner wasn’t home today because he was at work, spending twelve hours a day in front of a machine that spits out towels that he would fold and place inside of a box. Yeah, Ed had a hard job, but in order to keep his home stocked full of cat food he was going to have to put in some extra hours. He had to keep Barney happy after all, his little buddy. Being home alone really didn’t bother Barney too much because he was always well fed. There wouldn’t be a day gone by with an empty cat food dish in the kitchen. Ed would always play with Barney as well, teasing him by grabbing his fat under his fur, but Barney wouldn’t mind this at all. He would squint at Ed letting him know that for the time being it was okay. For the time being Ed wouldn’t end up with scratches all over his arms and legs that would bleed and bleed. For the time being… Ed was safe.

Another thing that kept Barney happy was his friend. Whenever Ed wasn’t home, which was most of the day, Barney would romp and play with his best buddy in the whole world, and his best buddy… was a little round plastic blue milk ring. It was a blue ring from the gallon milk containers that Ed would buy from the store. The little ring that sealed the cap closed and clicked while it was opened. Why Barney would prefer such a toy to all of his other stuffed toys never made any sense to Ed, but as long as the cat was happy.

“Meow!” Barney said to the little blue milk ring as is laid there on the floor. Meow is the only thing Barney could say, and that was how it always came out whenever Ed was around to hear him. Ed would be standing in the kitchen cooking his dinner and he would hear Barney in the other room Meowing to his little friend. A quick glance into the other room would show an orange cat standing over a small blue milk ring with his head down looking at it.

“Meow,” is what Barney said to the milk ring. “Meow, meeeeeoooooow,” it sounds like an interesting conversation. Ed can only shake his head and continue with his meal preparation.

Now you wouldn’t think a cat would ever become friends with such a thing, an inanimate object, but Barney was a little off in the head. On the outside, he looked like any other cute little kitty that had a pot belly from all of the food he ate, but on the inside, he heard the voice of the blue milk ring talking back to him. The small ring had a personality that Barney enjoyed talking to. Sure on the outside, all of his conversations came out with a meow, but inside of Barney’s head it all made sense; it all made sense to him and his little blue plastic friend…

“So what are we going to do today, Mr. Ring?” Barney asked his small friend. The ring replied to Barney, which only he could hear.

“You’re right, Mr. Ring, that would be so much fun to do. I can’t believe I never thought of it.”

What a great idea it was, and with that idea in mind Barney began playing with his plastic friend. Huddled in the corner he sees his ring over there beside the door. The blue toy minds its own business while Barney shakes his body getting ready to jump all over it.

“Meow!” he said as he leaps from his spot running over toward the clueless milk ring. He lands both paws on the ring causing it to slide along the ground as his paws push it forward. He leans in for a playful bite, which he lands magnificently. His teeth wrap around the ring as he picks it up off of the ground. With a twist of his head, looking as if he were listening to headbanging music, he tosses the ring up into the air only for it to land a few feet away from him. He continues this process for another hour until finally deciding it was time for a nap. His eyes were heavy, and as he squints at his little buddy he sees a strange wobble. In Barney’s eyes, it looked as if the ring was trying to get up off the ground, trying to pick itself up and join the cat sitting over there next to the wall. The ring must be tired as well from all of the romping around they were doing…

“I’ll help you out, Mr. Ring, I won’t leave you over there on the floor.”

The orange cat walks over to the blue milk ring wrapping his teeth around it, grabbing it. He picks it up off the floor and squints as he looks at his bed over there by the heater. His box is waiting for him, and he knew very well that Mr. Ring wanted to sleep too. The clock on the wall shows there are more hours left before his owner comes home from work. The food in the kitchen wasn’t too appetizing and he knew Ed would open a fresh can for him later. He could wait until then, and with a trot over to the cardboard box, Barney places Mr. Ring next to him as he lays down for his third nap of the day.

“Good night, Mr. Ring, I’ll see you when I wake up,” Barney said, and the ring responds to him…

Some hours have passed and Barney was still sleeping away in his cardboard box bed. The many hairs that line the blanket turn the white cover into an orange one. That wasn’t a problem though, the hairs never bothered Barney and he knew that his friend never worried about it either. Orange hair for all, even in the hairballs he horked up on occasion. The door in the kitchen came open letting the outside air flow in. In his dreams, Barney had heard the door locks being unlocked, but he never awoke until the door opened and his owner came walking in. This was a sign for Barney, a sign that told him it was time for supper. Ed was going to open up another can of cat food and Barney knew it. His heart sped up as he jumped out of his bed leaving a trail of floating orange hair in his wake. Meow came from his mouth and Ed replied.

“Hey there, little buddy, it’s good to be home. That place can go suck an egg for all I care.” he said.

“Meow!” a nice response from Barney. There were some purrs thrown in for good measure, which told Ed he would always have a friend waiting for him at his home. No matter how bad the world got when he was away he would always come home to a friend that would never turn his back on him. A friend that showed unconditional love because he cared about his owner, or maybe he just wanted some food. Either way, Ed was home, Barney was happy, and Mr. Ring was still asleep on the cardboard box bed in the other room…

“Okay let’s get you fed,” and that was music to Barney’s ears. Ed placed him on the ground after holding him up for what seemed like forever and noticed a new layer of orange hair stuck to his shirt. “Oh, thanks for that, Barney. I’m gonna have to shave you bald if you don’t quit shedding like this.”

“Meow,” was that a sorry?

Cracking open a new can of food, Ed spoons it out onto a small white dish that says “Barney” in the center of it. He stirs a few times and checks to make sure it’s all mashed up. With everything good, Ed leans over placing the white dish on the floor next to Barney. He meows a few more times, with the third being muffled because he had his face buried in the food. With a pat on the head to Barney, Ed walks into the other room with the intent of going up the stairs. He had to change this hairy shirt because the hairs were making him itch. He stops close to the steps as he sees Barney’s boxed bed sitting over there with all of the orange hairs in it.

“Damn orange hairs,” and he looks at his shirt, which had the same problem. “Okay, I’ll just wash the both of them. Why not?”

He picks up Barney’s blanket leaving the box empty. The milk ring that Barney oh so loved was wrapped up with the blanket and hidden from Ed’s view. He goes down the basement stairs and tosses the blanket along with his shirt into the washer with some detergent. A turn of the washer knob brings the washer to life as it scrubs the orange hairs away. It was chilly down here in this basement with no shirt on, so Ed decides to head back upstairs to get one. On a step lays Mr. Ring where it fell out of the blanket when Ed was coming down the stairs. He sees it and picks it up placing it inside of his pants pocket.

After eating, Barney walks back over to his box bed ready for another nap. Sure he had just woken up from a nap but the food he had just ingested makes him tired enough for another one. He licks his right paw followed by his left. With his eyes squinting he looks ahead toward his cardboard box bed expecting to see his beloved friend waiting there for him. His best friend who he had told everything to, everything that a cat has to tell anyway, would be ready to hear all about the nice tasting food he had just eaten.

And all of this food talk doesn’t make Mr. Ring hungry because he doesn’t have to eat, not with all of the food he has available to him in the other place. That was the place Mr. Ring goes to on occasion in order to recharge himself. Every now and then Mr. Ring begins to fade out of this world, he fades with a flicker right in front of Barney’s eyes. He goes to his world, and Barney is always lonely during this time. He misses his friend and finds himself wishing that Mr. Ring wouldn’t have to go back to his place. But… Barney’s eyes shoot open as he looks on in horror at his empty cardboard box bed.

“Mr. Ring!” he shouts in his mind. Of course, it was all coming out as meows in the real world, stressful meows that seemed to have tears embedded in them. “Mr. Ring where are you!” Barney said as he looked all around the empty box. He pushed the box with his nose thinking that his friend had fallen under it, but he wasn’t there. He looked around the box, but he wasn’t there either. He looked in his cat litter box located behind his cardboard box, but Mr. Ring wasn’t there.

Mr. Ring was nowhere.

He ran around crazy in the room with his box bed, but there was no Mr. Ring. He then ran up the stairs hoping to find his little buddy, but he wasn’t there. Next, he ran down the stairs and into the kitchen sliding on the small rugs on the floor. They looked like a bunched up mess after he was done. Like a crazy cat who was busy chasing around a laser pointer, he was running everywhere. Ed could hear his cat running around like a nut upstairs. He stood on the basement steps behind the door listening to this orange fury.

“I have to watch what I feed him next time. He’s gone mad,” and it seemed that way. A glass breaks on the floor signaling to Ed it was time to get back into the kitchen. He opens the door just as an orange blur runs past into the other room with the cardboard bed.

“Mr. Ring where are you? Please don’t leave me,” and he hears the basement door close behind him in the kitchen. Twirling around he looks up at the tall giant standing there without a shirt on. The love he had felt for his owner was now gone, replaced with a strange feeling that Barney had never felt before. Was it hate? No, it wasn’t hate… but it was rage.

Ed stands there with a stupid look on his face when he sees Barney’s orange hair standing up on his back.

“What did you do with Mr. Ring?” Barney said, but Ed heard it like this, “Meow meeeeoow, meeoow?”

“What in the world has gotten into you? You’re a crazy cat, Barney,” and he smiles at his small orange fat cat. Barney looks as if he’s ready to pounce on Ed as he takes a few steps forward, but then notices Ed digging into his pocket.

“Meow?” The hair on Barney’s back slowly begins to fall into place as he sees his beloved friend in Ed’s hand. He runs up to Ed and rubs against his legs hoping that the evil human was going to give him back his friend.

“Hey there, kitty, I’m glad you’re back to normal,” Ed said as he pats Barney on the head. With a flick of the wrist, he tosses the milk ring into the other room toward the cardboard box bed. It lands with a bounce followed by Barney scooping it up with his teeth. His friend was back, and Barney was happy. “Crazy cat,” Ed said as he walks away.

With that, Barney placed Mr. Ring next to his cardboard box on the floor. He sits next to it while leaning his head over, looking down. Mr. Ring seems to wobble on the floor as Barney stares at it. The cat’s eyes squint as he acknowledges the words coming from the blue milk ring.

“Meoooooow,” or in Barney’s mind, “Mr. Ring I will never lose you again, I promise. That monster will never take you away from me. We will be together forever.”

The Next Day…

“If another one of those fat goofs gets on my nerves I’m going to walk out of there,” Ed said as he walked into his home. Barney lifts his head up out of his cardboard box as he hears Ed’s anger. He glances over at Mr. Ring hoping to see his friend there, and he was there. “I do everything they ask of me, Barn, but they always give me problems. Why do I put myself through this crap?” he looks down as he sees Barney rubbing against his legs. It was time for supper.

“Meow,” Barney said.

“I know, I know. I’ll get you some food, little buddy,” and he grabs another white plate which also had Barney’s name on it. There was a whole stack of them sitting on the shelf which ensures Barney always has a clean plate to eat off of. He sets the plate down on the sink and reaches for a can of cat food that he usually stocks next to the plates. His hand grabs nothing but air… cold, cold air…

“Oh no, I’m all out of cat food. I’m sorry, Barney, but I can’t give you anything right now.” he shakes his head at Barney showing his sorrow. Barney looks up at him confused, unsure of how to take this situation. There’s never been a time that he could remember when Ed couldn’t feed him. There has always been food, always, but if there wasn’t any food in the house what was he going to eat? Barney thought about this as he felt a small growl come from within his stomach. A strange feeling this was, he had never felt it before. He looked up at Ed and saw the two sandwiches that were sitting on the counter. They were tuna sandwiches that his owner had made for himself, his supper tonight. So Ed gets to eat and fill his stomach while Barney doesn’t? How is that right? He looks up at Ed as his greedy owner grabs the plate of food in his right hand. With his left, he pats Barney on the head and smiles.

“You’ll get to eat tomorrow, Barn. I’ll head to the grocery store and pick you up some more food,” and another one of those disgusting smiles. Barney looks at his owner’s sandwiches and goes for them. Ed pulls away from his hungry cat before he gets a chance to snatch some food from his plate. “This is mine, Barney, you can’t have people food,” but it was tuna and Barney always ate tuna. That’s what was written on his cat food can, it was tuna so what’s the difference? Why can’t the stupid owner give his hungry cat a bite? It wouldn’t hurt at all, and it would take the hunger pangs away from Barney.

“Meow?” Barney said as he looks on at Ed towering above him. With a smile, Ed walks past Barney toward the other room going up the stairs. Barney runs into the room stopping to take another sad stare at his owner. A stare that says, “please give me some food, I’m starving,” but Ed only smiles at the poor cat as he takes a bite of his delicious tuna sandwich. A tuna sandwich that would taste so good to Barney right now, but he wasn’t going to get any of it. How could someone treat their cat like this? Ed doesn’t care about Barney… Ed doesn’t care about Barney… Ed…

“He doesn’t care about you, Barney… he doesn’t care at all. The only thing he cares about is himself. He’s selfish, and he doesn’t care about you at all.” the small blue milk ring wobbles on the floor beside Barney. The cat can only stare at the tuna sandwiches as Ed continues up the steps toward his bedroom.

“He only cares about himself, Barney. He doesn’t like you at all and he would never give those sandwiches up to save your life. He doesn’t like you, Barney… but I do.”

Turning his head toward the milk ring, Barney listens and understands.

“I will never leave you, Barney, I’m your friend forever. Where I come from we don’t need owners, and you will see that one day.”

Barney climbs inside of his cardboard box and curls up. His true friend rolls on top of his paw and wobbles.

“We are friends, Barney, forever and ever and ever…”

The hungry cat goes to sleep.

The Next Day…

“Barney… wake up, Barney…” a voice came from the real world trying to wake the sleeping cat. He was on his back with his paws in the air showing his belly. In his dreams, he saw a long road with a strange light at the end of it. It wasn’t the bright light he had heard Ed talk about when he was on the phone, no, this light was different. Still bright, but made of green, and this light seemed to call for Barney. He could hear another voice in there.

“Here kitty, kitty, kitty,” this voice came from within the green hue. The long road ends at the green light but the surrounding darkness shows shadows moving around as if there were something in there, something trying to grab whoever was unlucky enough to be walking down this long road. Barney didn’t want to go down this road, but the voice calling for the kitty to come tempted him. He really didn’t want to go, but the voice told him there was tuna in there. If he were to travel down this road he would be rewarded with all of the tuna he could ever eat. Sitting down on the road with his eyes squinting at the green light, Barney saw something coming out of that light. It was a blue plastic milk ring, and it was Mr. Ring. This Mr. Ring was much bigger than the Mr. Ring Barney knew in the real world. It still had that same wobble though…

“Mr. Ring, what are you doing here?”

The blue ring wobbled some more, and than with a flash, Barney awoke in his bed.

The smell of bacon was in the air as Barney lifts his head out of his bed. Ed was out in the kitchen fixing himself some breakfast with some music playing on the radio. The bacon smelled so good to Barney, and even though he had a little anger toward Ed for not feeding him the day before, he still rubbed against Ed’s legs playing the loving cat all the while hoping that Ed would drop a piece of the bacon on the floor. Barney wasn’t above eating scraps, in fact, the scraps usually tasted pretty good. A quick “meow” showed Ed that Barney was hoping for some of the bacon, but once again Ed refuses the poor kitty.

“No, Barn! I told you, you can’t have people food. I’m going to get you some more cat food soon so just hold on for a bit.”

The food was done, bacon and eggs with a slice of toast, not too much butter. Ed sat down at the table ready to eat his meal, a glass of OJ to wash it all down of course. He picks up his fork and gasps as Barney leaps on his lap hoping to snag a bite. With wide eyes, Barney looks at the tasty bacon, and then he sees the floor coming closer after Ed shoves him off his lap with his right arm.

“He doesn’t care about you, Barney,” Mr. Ring said from the cardboard box in the other room, and Barney was beginning to believe it.

With his head down, he walks back into the room feeling another stomach growl. Ed sees his cat sitting there and decides to play with him a little. That blue plastic milk ring seems to be one of his favorite toys so why not toss it around and watch the cat jump on it? That’s a great idea, and after finishing his bacon and eggs he stands up out of his seat heading into the other room. Barney sees him coming and, for a second, thinks that he just may have some cat food that he’s bringing in, but is disappointed when he sees nothing.

“Stop him, Barney! He’s coming for me!”

Barney looks at Mr. Ring wondering why he would say that, and then looks at the approaching Ed who was holding his hand out barreling towards his little blue friend.

“Meow meeeoow!” Barney said, which meant, “don’t you dare touch my friend!” but of course, he couldn’t understand him. He reaches past Barney, who throws a paw up smacking his arm, and grabs Mr. Ring.

“Here you go, Barn! Go and get it,” and he tosses Mr. Ring into the kitchen like a Frisbee.

“Meow!” Barney said as he went running for his friend. “Meeeeeoooow!” which means, “No! What are you doing! Mr. Ring!”

He ran into the kitchen hoping that his blue ring was intact, and it was. Barney scoops the ring up with his teeth and notices his heart beating fast. Mr. Ring wobbles inside of Barney’s mouth whispering something to the cat. Barney just wants to rest now, so he decides to head back into the other room for his cardboard box bed. He would set Mr. Ring down beside him and they would both go to sleep forgetting about this horrible ordeal. Yes, that would be the best thing for both of them to do. Now if he could only…

Mr. Ring is snatched out of Barney’s teeth by Ed, and a huge smile encircles his face as he thinks his cat is playing fetch. He had never seen a cat play fetch before, only dogs did this. A laugh escapes his mouth as he pats Barney on the head.

“No, give him back!” Barney said. He tries smacking at Ed’s arm which has stolen his ring. A couple of false throws by Ed causes Barney to run a few feet back and forth like a mad cat, but then he finally throws it out into the kitchen once more. And as before, Barney goes running for his friend hoping that nothing bad has befallen him.

“No, why are you doing this?” is the only thing Barney could say, but of course Ed heard, “meoooow meeeeoowwww meow.”

“Well, Barn, I have to go to the store and get your food so this playtime has to end.” which was a good thing for Barney’s sanity. He sits beside his ring in the kitchen on the rug hoping that the evil human was going to leave him alone. This would be it though, if his owner decided to grab for Mr. Ring again he would scratch him. He would scratch him harder than he has ever scratched him before. His claws were ready for the assault as Ed neared, but he left Barney’s friend alone.

“I’ll be back in a bit you crazy cat. Don’t be doing anything stupid like jumping on the sink or something,” but Barney couldn’t help to think…

“Don’t you be doing anything stupid like grabbing my friend again. You will regret it.”

The door closes behind Ed as he leaves the house for the grocery store.

Later that day…

Returning from the store, Ed places the bags on the table and unloads all of the food. He had purchased eggs, almonds, cereal, milk, and of course Barney’s cat food. The cat food was actually the first thing he had placed inside of his cart at the store thinking to himself there was no way he wanted to forget about Barney. He pulled a can out of the box it came in and opened it up with a click. That was music to Barney’s pointy ears as he came running into the kitchen as a happy cat would do. He rubbed against Ed’s legs knowing that he had to play this part in order to avoid any conflicts in getting his food. And what good food it was, the best tasting tuna and cheese Barney had ever had. He gobbled it down fast not giving it much of a chance on the plate. With a few licks to clean up the residue, he sees his name written in the center. He stares at his name with squinting eyes so happy that his owner has finally fed him. His belly was full and now he could sleep the rest of the day away with his friend Mr. Ring. His friend to the end… who Ed was now holding in his hands again…

“Here you go, Barney, I’m giving you a new one. This old one has seen better days and it stinks.”

With horror, Barney sees Ed tossing Mr. Ring into the garbage.

“No!” Barney said, which Ed heard as a frightening growl. Barney leaps into the trash after his friend trying to rescue him from the filthy garbage. A fate that would surely see him thrown into that horrible monster outside. The monster that eats garbage as it rolls down the alleyway with those people inside of it. “Mr. Ring! I’ll save you!”

“Hey, what are you doing you crazy cat.”

The cat was digging harder than he had ever dug before until Ed placed him back on the floor of the kitchen. “That’s not something you want to do, Barney. Stay out of that garbage,” Ed said with a point.

Barney wasn’t hearing it though. He ignored his owner by jumping back into the garbage hoping to come across his lost milk ring. His heart pumped faster and his eyes were wide as he plunged into the filth.

“Mr. Ring! Where are you?”

“Damn it cat! Get in the room,” and he grabbed Barney putting him in the room with his cardboard box bed. That wasn’t going to stop Barney though, no, he wanted his friend back and no matter how many times Ed was going to pull him out of that garbage he would jump back in. He ran from his box toward the kitchen only to be stopped by the gate Ed had installed in the doorway. That will keep the cat out, way to go Ed, but he wasn’t done. He walks over to the trash grabbing both sides as Barney watches on. The gate can hold the cat back but it cannot hold the pain back; the pain that Barney was feeling on the inside as he watched his friend being tied up inside of that garbage bag. He knew where that bag would be going, outside and down below by the big tree. Later that day the monster would come rolling up taking his friend away forever. He would never see his friend again and his owner would be laughing away as he stuffs his face with tuna sandwiches and beer.

Yeah, Ed doesn’t care about Barney at all, and now Barney would have to show him how much of a mistake that was. He shouldn’t have thrown his friend out, he shouldn’t have done that to an innocent blue ring. He was going to pay for what he had done. There was no other way around it, he was going to pay.

“I will make him pay for this, Mr. Ring… I will make him pay…” and with sad eyes surrounded by orange fur, Barney makes his way over to his cardboard box bed. A bed that now seems empty without his beloved best friend in the world, Mr. Ring.

Later…

In the living room, a computer shows a video game that Ed has been addicted to for the last three years. An empty plate that once held tuna sandwiches lay next to the keyboard that was now being used to move a character onscreen. Loud booms from guns and voices from CG animated characters fill the room along with Ed’s laughter. He was having fun on his day off, but over in the next room, his feline wasn’t.

“Look at him sitting over there, that slob! How could he take my friend away?” Barney said, which Ed heard as, “Meowwww meeeoooow.”

“Knock it off, Barn! I’m trying to play my game and I don’t need you groaning over there.”

The amount of skill it takes to play this game isn’t much, and tonight he was having one of the best playthroughs he has ever had. Maybe it was the beer he drank, or maybe it was the tuna sandwiches he ate. No matter what it was, one thing was for sure.

“I really have to take a leak,” and he did. He drank three bottles of booze and now the liquid wants to come out on the other end. Wanting to remain in his seat for the game that he was playing, he grunted as he knew it best to get up and go because of the dam about to burst. He hits the ESC key which pauses the game and stands up out of his chair for a quick bathroom break.

Barney saw that his evil owner was standing up from his chair and so he stood up as well. With a stretch of his orange paws, that had white fur on the ends which resembled boots, he ran over to Ed rubbing up against his legs as any other good kitty would do. He reaches down to pet his pet, which he did, and then made his way up the stairs.

“Now, Barn, don’t you go dumpster diving again while I’m up here. The only thing you’re going to find in there is an empty garbage bag.” which was the case because he hasn’t thrown anything away yet. Not since his murder of Barney’s beloved friend. Barney acknowledged this with a quick meow and a squint, a squint that he would normally save for someone that he loves… but he didn’t love Ed anymore.

“Meow,” Barney said.

“Now be a good kitty and I won’t have to close your gate again.”

And so Ed walked up the stairs entering the bathroom. He didn’t notice the orange fat cat coming up the stairs behind him. That’s because Barney was being sneaky, he made sure the bathroom door was closed before he made his way all the way up the stairs. He could hear Ed in the restroom cleaning his hands in the sink. This would be it, this would be his revenge for what his owner had done to him… and his milk ring.

Coming out of the bathroom, Ed sees Barney sticking his head out from under the brown stand next to the wall. He smiles at his cute little kitty and waves.

“Meooow meeeeooooow meow,” Barney said. Which actually meant, “you want to take my friend away… I’m going to make you hurt…”

“That’s a good kitty,” and he made his way down the stairs one step at a time. When he reached the third step, Barney ran down behind him and shoved his whole body in front of Ed’s left foot. Fear stuck Ed as he knew he was in trouble, his foot tripping over the cat he had once called his little buddy. One thought that did go through his mind while he began to fall forward was, this is really going to hurt…

A scream and some grunts leave Ed’s lips as he tumbles down the stairs uncontrollably. His arms and legs were flopping everywhere as Barney stood on that third step watching on with wide eyes. He had done this to his owner, making him fall down those stairs with so much pain now ravaging his body. The actual fall didn’t hurt too much, and Barney could see this as he watched Ed hit the bottom, but what really hurt his owner was the landing on the second to last step where his leg contorted and almost tore off. There was a crunchy sound that made Barney think of his dry cat food that he would eat, and then there was more screaming.

“Oh my God! I think I broke my leg!” Ed screamed, and he sure did. The bone protruding right below his knee, the twisted foot that did a one-eighty, and all the blood that was leaking through his pants gave him the impression that it may be broken. His first impulse was to grab his leg, maybe try easing his pain by lifting it up a little bit, but besides his head, he couldn’t move anything else on his body… he was paralyzed.

“You dumb cat! Look what you did to me,” and then he heard the game over tune playing on his computer. His character was dead and he had lost the game because of it being unpaused while he was away. Before going upstairs to trip his owner back down them, Barney had made sure to walk over the keyboard in order to hit that ESC key another time. The game would unpause, and along with Ed’s character dying onscreen…

“Oh no! Not my game… I was doing so good…” and then he looked at the stairs. Sitting on one of the steps near the top was Barney. He looks down at his fallen owner with a squint in his eyes. A strange green glow can be seen inside of those squinted eyes, and those eyes were locked on Ed lying helpless at the bottom of the stairs.

“Hey, Barn… you know I love you right?” but Barney wasn’t hearing any of that. He came down the stairs slowly and near the end leaped onto Ed’s chest as he lay there on the floor. The impact of this orange fatty made Ed wish he had fed him a little less throughout his life. The green glow in his eyes brightened, and Ed saw something wobbling in those eyes.

“A milk ring…” and it was a milk ring, a plastic milk ring that wobbled faster and faster as a horrid growl came from within his kitty; a growl that grew in volume and was filled with rage as claw after claw slashed down on Ed’s chest. His shirt was turned into a tattered mess, covered in blood that would pool around his immobile body. There were screams… yes there were plenty of those when deep scratches lined his arms and legs and the entirety of his upper torso, but all of those screams were cut off when Barney lunged at Ed’s neck, sinking his teeth deeply into those arteries that severed without much effort.

When it was all over, Barney calmly walked from Ed’s chest making sure to kick his two hind legs as if he were leaving the cat litter. He heads over to the cardboard box where he’ll sleep for the remainder of the day, never picking his head up for his owner anymore because he was no longer alive. The green light that was clouding his eyes begins to twinkle, and then it fades out as the kitty closes those eyes. There was only one thought running around in his head as he drifts off to dreamland, and that was of the long road leading toward the green light in the distance. He sees the plastic milk ring wobbling in front of him, a milk ring that appears to be happy with what he has done.

Cats were never known to smile, but if you saw Barney’s face at this moment you would see the largest cat smile you have ever seen.

He lets out a meow as he finally falls asleep.

“Hello there, Mr. Ring! I’m glad you came back to me…”