Temper Tantrums : 10 Tips How to Stop Toddler Tantrums Essay

What is Temper Tantrum

  • Toddle temper tantrums seem to be a particular type of behavior that a toddler from around 12 months onward.
  • Parents are always use physical action to control the toddler temper or stop the unbearable behavior immediately which is incorrect and abusive.
  • Your toddler wanted to do or get some things that he wanted but does not know how to express himself clearly.
  • He cannot engage in a verbal language with siblings, care giver or parents.
  • Your toddler got frustrated, unable to take in the foul mood and shows his temper unexpectedly.
  • When the mother says; “NO!”, the toddler immediately becomes extremely angry and sometimes becomes violent by scratching, pulling, yanking, slapping, hitting, yelling whatever or whoever is in front of him.
  • Until the toddler can speak or understand in a spoken language or word, he becomes physically violent.
  • He cries, he jumps up and down,cries on the floor with legs sprawling and hands swaying here and there, kicks, or even pulls the mother’s arms until his face turns red.
  • Clutching his both fists with anger and shouts are the way he let off his unhappiness just as adults release stress with screaming to himself.
  • Showing pouting lips, tears flowing down his cheeks and doing everything opposite from your instructions.

Tips to Stop Temper Tantrums

Here are some advises which are worth trying but takes lots of patience.

#1- Ignore your toddler

  • BUT Do not leave him alone. He will feel insecure because he needs the presence of his parent.
  • Continue with your tasks; household chores, shopping, watching TV, surfing Internet but ensure that you can see him.
  • Your toddler might be feeling lonely, afraid because he is not used to it.
  • He cries for your company or your attention to look at him.
  • If no amount of words could keep him down, ignore him for 10-20 minutes because he is literally out of his mind right now.
  • You won’t be able to talk any sense into his mind now as he is out of control.
  • Allow your toddler to wail and cry until he is satisfied.
  • Then, he is willing to listen and talk after his emotions are over.

#2 – Don’t Scold

  • Do not scold or scream at your toddler at the top of your voice.
  • When you toddler is showing his tantrums, no matter how fierce you may look, how loud your voice is, your screaming and scolding will be in vain.
  • Threats are the worst method to stop tantrums because your child will cry even louder and create more unpleasant scenes.
  • Stop challenging with your child.
  • Refrain from scolding him in the public as he wanted to save his pride too.

#3 – Distract his attention

  1. Distract the toddler’s attention with an interesting toy or make a suggestion of doing something fun to do.
  2. New things could temporary make him forget his tantrums for a while.
  3. Getting your toddler engaged and interested in something else so that he could focus on it.
  4. Some great examples are; an old storybook that he has not read, delicious ice-cream of his favorite flavor, cuddly toy, some insects that you had spotted in the garden or watch his favorite TV education shows.
  5. Distractions at the right time is the best way to get him off the hook of crying before he goes deeper.
  6. Once he is happy with your new distraction, he may had forgotten what he was crying for a while ago.

#4 – Give a big hug

  • Give your toddler a warm big hug to show that you wanted to make up.
  • Every kids need a good hug to make him feel comfortable and wanted.
  • When he felt unwanted, his pleas ignored, he wanted something warmth to calm down his emotions.
  • A big hug helps him to settle down pretty quickly. A firm, big hug, not the cuddly type that spoils a kid.
  • Let him feel secure again. Let him know that you care and love him too.
  • My boy always needed a big hug after showing his temper. He asked for a hug because he said he wanted to stop crying. No matter how angry I was, I gave him one.

#5 – No to spanking

  • Do not spank or slap your toddler particularly in front of the public.
  • He will feel embarrassed, hurt his feelings and make the situation even worst by crying, wailing as if you are the bad parent.
  • Spanking or slapping does not solve nor cease the tantrum immediately.
  • It hurts physically and emotionally for a child who is innocent.
  • This is easier said than done when your temper is rising at that point but REMEMBER that spanking does not work for you either when you were young, right?
  • Hitting your child means challenging your child to a showdown.
  • That gives your toddler more reasons to induce higher screaming, more crying and more unreasonable excuses to insist on getting what he wanted.

#6 – Do not hold any anger

  • Once the tantrum is over, do not hold anger at your toddler.
  • Bearing grudges at a defenseless, innocent child who do not even know what is wrong or right, is a childish act for an adult.
  • Teach and guide him.Explain to him why and what happened. What to do in future.
  • Give him your reasons why you said “NO” to his demands. Give him other alternative ideas to replace his needs.
  • Teach him how to express himself. My son used to tell me that “I don’t know how to say” because he couldn’t find the exact words to tell me what he wanted.
  • It is up to parents to forgive and forget about the tantrum. Being angry at your own child will not teach him to perform better the next time when such situation occurs again.
  • When your child says “Sorry”, accept with a big smile and a hug but remind him NEVER to repeat it again

#7 Wait and See

  • Wait for the tantrums to subside, even though it is easier said than done.
  • Keep your cool. Experts insisted that parents must keep your cool during a child’s tantrum.
  • A war between mother and child will make the whole tantrum a big scale of bad temper between both parties.
  • It usually take 20-30 minutes or even an hour for your toddler to calm down. That is the time when you can start talking not scolding to your child.
  • Talking is the best way to get your child to listen to you when he is not crying anymore.
  • Let him know that his bad behavior in showing tantrum is NOT ACCEPTABLE to you. Get him to understand that you did not give in or give up at all.
  • Speaking at a calm tone is soothing for your toddler, as he knows that you meant well, not threatening him.
  • Teach him the moral of good behavior.

#8 – Learn to say” NO”

  • When your toddler realized that no one is consoling or notice him,he will understand that by throwing his tantrums, he will not get his own way or things either.
  • By then, he will stop his his tantrum, cease showing temper since it is not working at all.
  • Thus, your toddler will understand that when you said “NO”, you are firmly against it and will not give in either.
  • Once he knew that he could not get what he wanted, your toddler will give in instead, get closer to you and start talking calmly in between sobs.
  • Remember to give him your reasons why you refused to give Never give him a “No” without a solid fact.

#9 -Offer his favorite food or drinks

  • A hungry and tired toddler play two big parts in temper and tantrums too.
  • When it is naptime or meal time and you haven’t gave him any of it, get them done as soon as possible to cease off his temper before it gets worse.
  • A hungry or sleepy child get very cranky and moody when his body is reacting to the mood.
  • Offer your toddler his favorite food or drink to satisfy his hunger / thirst and apologize to him that you had forgotten, not done in purpose.
  • Tell him to remind you in future, not showing his temper which is incorrect way to communicate.
  • For a toddler who is sleepy, always give him a regular naptime because when his brain power shuts off, he gets pretty irritated with no place to rest.
  • Allow your toddler to rest on your lap or carry him while you are shopping.

#10- Count to 10

  • Try counting up to 10 to cool down your emotional feelings.
  • Refrain from raising your hands on your toddler.
  • When you are unable to talk to your wailing toddler, turn away from him, count in your heart from 1-10 while breathing in and out deeply.
  • Counting helps you to stop your temper too.
  • Once you had calmed down, turn back and speak to your child in a calm tone.
  • You are an adult, you should know that if both mother and child shows temper, that means “WAR”, no more negotiation and that is childish.
  • Counting helps you to stop talking and give you an ample time to think of what ideas to distract his attention.

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